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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]He's clearly mentally ill. He's probably been diagnosed if he was able to qualify for disability.

He is single and sick. he needs to be able to stay with his mother at Christmas if he wants. You shouldn't say that she has to exclude him in order for you to come. That would be cruel.

Stay in a hotel or at another relative's. let dh visit mom and bro while you take kids to play with their cousins.[/quote]

OP here: to be clear--I would never give my MIL an ultimatum. That's her son and I would never put her in the position of choosing one child over another, ie, my DH and us. Also to be clear--my BIL treats my ILs like sh*t and uses them for money. Very possible this is part of an illness, but it happens all the same. He never seeks them out otherwise and it is generally not his idea to visit. He doesn't love too far from them, has no job, and he still sees them only twice a year. She is on him from October to plan a Christmas visit--he needs the convincing.

My kids have no cousins on that side. None of DH's siblings have kids. It's just them and a bunch of adults. Which is fine and fun in many ways, but there are no other kids to play with.

I suggested to DH that we stay in a hotel but he is convinced MIL and FIL will take great offense. I can see how they would, but I think it might be a good compromise. Not much I can do during the day, though, when BIL tells my kids that TV is controlling their minds.[/quote]

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