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[quote=Anonymous]For those of you who were born/raised in the US, how do you deal with the Indian “aunty” cattiness/games? In this case, family friends have invited us to their D’s wedding (D is in her 30s so we grew up with her -- but the parents are the ones extending the invite to us, our spouses etc.).  That “invite” was of course followed up by the bride’s mom saying “well -- the ceremony will be mostly family and really long; I don’t know that you’ll be interested.”  Um -- ok -- then why does my invite say ceremony plus reception, if you don’t want me at the ceremony?  I want to bag the whole thing and just not go at all.

My DH thinks that’s rude to the bride who likely isn’t even aware that her mom is going around saying these things.  The bride is very normal and probably wants all her friends at the events and the mom probably imagined that the ceremony would look a certain way -- i.e. just their family and closest friends, maybe none of the bride’s “American” (white) friends, maybe excluding the non-Hindu guests (we’re Muslim and the mom while she is our “friend” makes comments about that once in a while).  WWYD?  Can I bail?  I really don’t want to spend a half day some place I’m not wanted. Before anyone asks -- yes, I'm Indian but I don't really know how to deal with these things as I don't socialize in the Indian community any more than I have to; I have friends of all kinds and thus have lost touch with Indian social norms.
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