Reply to 13 Year Old DD Nasty Tone

Forum Index » Elementary School-Aged Kids

Reply to "13 Year Old DD Nasty Tone"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Wait a minute:  you had a brilliant idea to start your own business and tanked the family economy?  It's not that your wife is disrespectful, but your daughter is old enough to know how foolish you are and therefore doesn't respect you.

When you do something stupid, people treat you like a fool. [/quote]

OP, please ignore this mindless vitriol of the above quote.  I read your backstory behind your daughter's attitude and I can so empathize.  I could write a book.  My husband and I have been through much of what you describe with different stressors.  Suffice it to say that after years of nagging each other to present a united front, (and me asking for a divorce because of DH's anger issues) we have come to a couple of really powerful understandings about marriage and kid-discipline.  1.  Rules should be minimal, clearcut, and written down, posted.  That's where the united front is.  Our rules revolve around consequences for missed assignments, lying (our problem with teen), limits on screentime, notifying us when his schedule changes, and our parental right to verify suspected lying.  2.  Forget any further need for a united front beyond complete agreement about the rules.  Each parent has their own peculiar relationship with the child and of course with each other.  For your relationship with DD, set your own VERY minimal rules, eg: eyerolling, failing to say thank you when handed something, and "ask instead of accuse".  Tell your DD you'd like if if she could stick within these boundaries, but if she does not, you will take up the issue when she is able to stick to the boundaries you need, or continue the exchange in writing.  If it's a case of you need something from her, you can attach whatever consequence is appropriate if she refuses but 3. NEVER lose it.  My husband finally understood that our marriage depended on his reining in his temper, even if he believed that losing his temper with his son was "part of their relationship."  Didn't matter.  Angry words IN THE HOUSE went beyond my boundary for the relationship between my husband and I, just as his boundary for me was my intervening in his relationship with the child.  Calm enforcement and respect for each individual's particular boundaries have helped enormously.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics