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[quote=Anonymous]For those of you who hate long posts, you can close this one now...

In June, I took my DDs to visit family a couple states away.  It was only a week and I really didn't want to make any plans in advance, just wanted to relax and see friends/family at my own pace.  My sis found out about 4 days before my arrival (I wasn't keeping it a secret, I just hadn't spoken to her since I decided) and called me in a bit of a huff.  She wanted a detailed itinerary and I couldn't give her one. All I had planned in advance was to attend church and brunch with our Mom on Sunday, which I told her about.  During the conversation, I appeased her by making plans to go to her house on Sat and spend the day with her family.

On Friday afternoon, after a VERY long car ride (bad weather, traffic, 2 cranky bored kids) I arrived at my Dad's (my parents are divorced)  to find him arriving at the same time with my Dniece 9 in tow.  I had no idea she was coming, but apparently Dsis called him the day before and asked him to come get her for the weekend.  Wierd, since I thought I was going over to their house but ok....  Needless to say, I was tired and stressed after the ride but now had to deal with my 2 little girls (expected) PLUS DN who is not independant by most measures and needs to still be supervised/prodded for meals, bathtime, bedtime etc.  In addition, there are not enough beds for 5 people at my dads so DD ended up sleeping on the floor and then trying to cram into the double bed with other DD and me in the middle of the night - not a good night's sleep!

On Saturday, Dsis never called to say come over and Dad said she had plans for the day, so I took my DDs and went to visit friends.  When I came back at supper time, Dad said Dsis called and wanted me to call her and tell her what my plans were.  Strange, since she already knew my plans from our previous phone conversation.  When I called, I reminded her that she knew that I planned to go to church and brunch with our Mom in the morning.  Her response was "well that was before DD was going to be there with you at Dad's"  I told her she never talked to me about sending her over and if she had, I would have told her I didn't think it was a good idea and by the way, what happened to my invite over to her house!?  She got very pushy and asked if there was some reason her DD couldn't go to church in the am as well.  My response was that I'm sure Mom would be super excited to see her whole family and she could come get DD on Sunday and they could all join us for church a breakfast.  She got mad and asked why I couldn't just take her DD with us.  I replied that this was my vacation and that taking care of an extra child was not in my plans and I didn't appreciate that she just foisted on my without talking to me about it before hand.  She said that my Dad could take care of her DD (he's 82 BTW!) and that she thought she was making my life easier since the girls would play together (they fight pretty often and while I love my niece, my sister's disciplica style is basically "ignore and do your own thing")  My first thought is that if she really wanted to make my life easier, she would have come and picked my DDs up and taken them to her house!  I reiterated that she could come to church with us, but that I wouldn't be taking her DD by myself.  She then asked to speak to her DD and when I gave her the phone, informed her DD that she was coming to get her immediately.

They showed up a half hour later, retrieved my niece without making eye contact or saying a word.  And she hasn't spoken to me since.  She also stopped speaking to my Mom since she apparently blamed her for the whole thing as well, but at the end of Sept finally sort of starting talking to her again after an Aunt intervened.

I don't want to spend the rest of my life estranged and I certainly want a relationship with my niece (my nephew is 18 so it's a little easier with him, since he's an adult and we communicate via FB)

I think I deserve an apology.  I don't think I was out of line to expect that she treat me with some respect and consideration by talking to me about it before unloading her kid on me for the weekend.  And I thnk she overreacted when I wouldn't lay down and let her treat my like a doormat.  But she apparently doesn't agree.  [/quote]

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