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[quote=Anonymous]Back story: I grew up with my Mother and my Father. I have one brother who is 20. I am 25. Our parents divorced after 27 years of marriage. The divorce was costly and very drug out. I grew up on a large farm. My Father was ordered to pay my Mother a percentage of the farm and he kept ownership. My Father has always been a workaholic and money hungry. Instead of spending time with his family and making it to sporting events that my brother and I played in, he chose to work his regular job or farm. We never vacationed when I was little. My Father never took me out on Daddy/Daughter dates. My Father refused to pay for my wedding after I had my first child (with my husband) out of wedlock. My Father hasn't/didn't ever speak with my husband about his role as my husband or my Father's expectations of how I should be loved, provided for or cared for. I don't have really any fond memories of my Father and I. He's more of a sperm donor and someone who gave me life. He doesn't call me. I only talk to him if I call. I have 4 children and he doesn't have a relationship with any of them. He doesn't come to Christmas, Thanksgiving or birthday parties because he refuses to be around my Mother. As a child, he would not talk to me in a loving way but always in a stern, angry tone. I can't tell you a time that my Father has come out and told me that he loves me. Not even once.

I know that was all a bunch of rambling sentences. But, I am an emotional train wreck at the moment and needed to get all of that out in the open. Which leads me to tonight's conversation and the current situation. So, here goes...

My Father doesn't show love, obviously, in ways that most people who have relationships do. Meaning, he doesn't call and he isn't involved. The way, I guess, he shows that he cares is with money. He offered to deed my husband and I land of his to build. However, after working with survey companies and the county where we will be building, we found out that we could not divide the land into the amount that my Father offered. Another thing with the land, my Father has told me that I am capable and hasn't offered to help me weed through this process at all (even though he's built a house himself). I have called him with every. single. detail, sent him emails from companies, explained in depth on the phone county codes and requirements. Tonight, while speaking with him on the phone, he blows up on my after hearing a piece of information that I already told him weeks ago that he says he doesn't remember. He literally cussed me out and had me in tears.

I immediately asked that he stop cussing at me and I explained that if it continued our conversation was over. He didn't appreciate me not "respecting" him since I told him that I wouldn't allow him to talk to me in the way he wanted to. I pointed out that he did not speak to anyone else in the way that he always (and has since I was little-- nothing has changed) spoken to me and that I was done being undermined, disrespected and walk on. I reminded him that I have my own family now, a husband and that I am not the 16 year old girl that I was. None of it mattered.

I honestly feel like I need to just end the relationship all together. He doesn't call me at all, so why continue to make him apart of my life when it just makes me hurt? I push under the rug who my Father truly is and try to accept the fact that he isn't who he should be-- but that's tough. Every little girl needs a Daddy and I didn't get one. I got someone who feels obligated to answer my phone calls. Someone who forgets my birthday and calls days later to wish me a happy birthday but tells me that he didn't forget it. I have the Father who cusses at me and puts me down. Someone who doesn't see decency and value in his own child and can't see how much she's hurting by his actions.

Has anyone had to completely cut off contact from a parent? How do I grieve the Father I don't have and move on without one all together? [/quote]

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