Reply to Feel like expectations are unfair re: chores and state of the house

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[quote=Anonymous]I'm a SAHM of 4 kids ages 6, 4, 3 and 1.

We used to have a playroom downstairs and then I got rid of it. I went through all toys and let the kids PICK which things they wanted and now it is all in their rooms. We have the cube organizers with baskets and I labeled with picture labels what toy goes where. During the day, the upstairs is a total disaster, however, when it's time or bed the kids must pick up their rooms. They put their toys away, hang up their towels, put dirty clothes in their basket in the laundry room and have to hang up their towels. They also pick out their clothes for the next day. Of course, the 1 year old doesn't do any of that but will when she is about 3.

At night, I work hard folding laundry and put clean clothes outside of the kids doors. In the mornings, while the kids get themselves dressed, I put the clean clothes away. While the kids are eating breakfast downstairs, I run upstairs and make beds/wipe down sinks.

Our downstairs has stayed much more put together since I got rid of the playroom. I felt like I walked in to Toys R Us every. single. day. I tried the whole "toys must stay in the playroom" battle and that didn't work. I needed to change something. The following things are a daily battle downstairs: kids shoes, backpacks, coats-- I'd like them to all put them up but the moment they walk in they kick everything off. The kitchen stays a mess until after I put the kids to bed. Why constantly clean up the kitchen when I mess it up at least 3 times a day?

All of that to say: A routine helps. Write out the days of the week and split the chores up but keep certain tasks daily. For example, every day I make beds, wips down sinks and vacuum/sweep the downstairs and wash dishes/wipe down table/counters. On top of those tasks, I will tackle one other large cleaning item per day. So, Monday, I clean all bathrooms including the floors in the bathrooms. Tuesday, I dust including baseboards and ceiling fans. Wednesday, I mop kitchen floors and hardwoods downstairs. Thursday, I catch up on remaining laundry. Friday-Sunday: Nothing.

Regardless of whatever schedule you make, if P1 is on board with you staying at home and values you raising children, then they wouldn't be so worried about the house. You aren't a Maid-- you are a Mother. The problem here really isn't that P1 wants a clean house. The problem is that he doesn't value what you're doing. [/quote]

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