Reply to 13 Year Old DD Nasty Tone

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Pick your battles with your DD.  She probably sees you as constantly nagging her and while you may be right about her tone, the two of you are in a downward spiral.  At the very least set aside some time you can spend with her that is nag free.  For example, during drives just let her be if she takes that tone.  I went through this with my DS and even though it was counter-intuitive, once I let the small things go (and in the scheme of things a tone of voice is a small thing) his tone toward me improved.  I was stressing him out with my constant nagging about the way he spoke to me so he always felt he was on guard, which just made it worse.  Our conversations are much better now.

And maybe try this with your DW as well.  Instead of confronting the issues (you spend too much, you treat me badly), which are legitimate, try to recognize that you are both under tremendous stress and its not the right context to deal with these things.  Set aside some time when you promise you will not talk about your relationship, daughter or finances.  release some of the pressure.

Of course, you have bigger issues going on.  This is all the more reason for you to ease up on your DD -- you may be taking your stress out on her.  Probably everyone in your family needs some therapy right now.[/quote]
OP here...thank you...sometimes a fresh set of "eyes" is helpful.[/quote]

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