Reply to just not sure I can do it - semi rant/dump. Maybe will help someone feel less alone

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, haven't you posted a lot of this before? I have very similar experiences to yours. I will tell you that his porn is him self-medicating, (as is/was the pot, obviously). I'd bet money that it's not just some special man-version of straight-up depression that he is dealing with. A lot of men in the bipolar spectrum do what he does. With it come the rages, the blaming, the porn addictions, the depressions, etc.

With your husband, even if he gets on an effective mood stabilizer, there will always be a lot of exhausting battles for him to fight, and you will continue to wear down. As hard as he tries, he will let you down again and again. I know this from experience. It's painful to read what you write, because I could have written it all.

How much energy are you willing to spend on him? Don't end up like me, burned out from spending too much energy trying to figure everything out and fix everything, at great expense to just about everything and everyone else (including myself). If I could go back and counsel myself, I'd have said, "Get out now. This battle will empty you, and you will have nothing for it."[/quote]

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