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[quote=Anonymous]Divorced 20 years now. Started dating when they were 14. Broke up several times - very up and down relationship. Married after college. Divorced after 24 years and he remarried a few years later. Dad and stepmom have never had a good relationship (common factor in both my dad's marriages is him no being a good husband). They are basically roommates and always have been. They just both like having someone to do things with but they don't treat each other well. My mom and dad apparently had an emotional affair that started a couple of years after he remarried. My mom has always regretted the divorce and has always "wanted her family back together." I've always thought the continued hot/cold between my parents was because my mom could sometimes handle being friendly/civil with my dad because of her kids and grand kids and sometimes couldn't. I didn't realize it was because of the on/off emotional affair aspect. These periods of 
time when they were secretly talking all the time having conversations a married man shouldn't be having with his ex-wife. The off part would come when he'd suddenly go cold or she'd push him to leave my stepmom.

So after nearly 20 years of this, they apparently became intimate again this year. It was short lived because my dad refuses to divorce and my mom refuses to sneak around. He says he won't divorce because she'll get too much of the money and he won't be able to leave enough to us kids and the grand kids. To which I think, so what, we're doing just fine on our own. I suspect he also feels like he would give up some of his lifestyle if she got too much money. He grew up poor and worked very hard for his business and wants to enjoy the lifestyle he has now. I also suspect he would also feel ashamed of a second divorce.

Ugh, this seems like such a soap opera but it's my life. I'm not even sure how to process it all[/quote]

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