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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Male here.

I'm going to honest and cop to this behavior with my own DW. I'm not proud of it, and I don't intend to be mean. But there are several things that seem to cause it. I don't know if you do these same things, but it's worth asking yourself.

1) I'm a morning person. I am usually up before 6, when I do certain chores (clean bathrooms, kitchens, anything else that's relatively quiet). I also run the morning show with the kids -- make lunches, get them off to school. Then I go to work. Then when I come home, I help with homework, otherwise engage kids. DW is a night person. She often expects me to put in hours doing housework, talk, or whatever. But by then I'm usually tired and my brain needs to shut off. So it shuts off.

2) My DW talks AT me, not TO me. She takes 30 minutes to communicate something that could be told in 5 minutes. Oftentimes she begins by telling me how she feels about something that happened before telling me what has happened. And usually, that feeling is annoyance, anger, or some other extreme reaction. Frankly, the negativity is stressful to hear over and over and over again, especially when I think she's overreacting. She seems to find conflict in so many interactions with others, so after hearing this over and over again I can't help but thinking she is the common denominator. But I can't really point that out, can I?

3) Nearly everything my DW wants to talk about ends up being about money. Even after I have said there's no money in the budget for the blinds she wants because we just did X, Y, and Z, she still tries to find a way to persuade me to spend it. Usually this involves saying she'll spend "her" money (we don't have separate accounts). But constantly being pressed to spend, spend, spend is stressful and I shut down.

4) When she asks for my opinion and I do give it and it's not what she wants to hear, I get an earful. So, I've learned to just listen and nod... But, then, it's 30 minutes of listening to her talk when she could get her point across in 5. She will literally ask me, "can I talk to you for 2 minutes?" and then sit down and yap for 30 minutes.

So, those are the some of the reasons we have a similar dynamic in our house. [/quote]

PP -

You are the epitome of a passive aggressive person.  If you feel this negative about your relationship and the things your wife does, why don't you attempt to fix it?  If you need a third party to be a referee, try marriage counseling.  It sounds like you both are unhappy about aspects in your marriage and there may be some helpful suggestions a marriage counselor can give the both of you to improve communication.  You can either continue to be miserable or do something to fix things.[/quote]

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