Reply to Past The Breaking Point?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Past The Breaking Point?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We have had a difficult marriage for years.  Like everything, it has its ebbs and flows.  I go through periods of putting in a lot of effort, periods of not much effort, sometimes my efforts have results, sometimes they don't, and so on.  He says he puts in efforts, too.  Sometimes I don't see them.  Sometimes I do.

He has a style of fighting where there is always something I could have done better.  He will later claim he admitted fault and said sorry but he didn't.  Or if he did admit he did something wrong it was, "I'm sorry, but here are the ten things you should do differently."  He has anger issues and any issue I try to bring up is an attack on him.  We have tried counseling without success.  I did manage to make things better a couple of years ago, but now things are worse again.  There is an underlying addiction issue as well, and the times things have been better have been when the addiction is at bay.

I have always said to myself that I would get out if either I thought it was hurting the kids to stay in or if staying was making me crazy.  The kids do not see a lot of it, although they do see the anger sometimes, with increasing frequency as things get bad and less frequency when things are better.

Last night I asked him if we could spend time together.  I am in one of my put in a lot of effort to see if it improves phases.  He agreed but wanted to do his hobby in the basement, which he often does.  He knows I like to go to bed at 10 during the week.  So I went down shortly before ten and said I guess since it is almost 10 we weren't going to hang out.  I told him I felt like I was married to a ghost that mysteriously appeared at certain times and disappeared into his hobby or his addiction (which he doesn't admit he has).  He of course got defensive.  He came upstairs to the kitchen and it was all about how if I had said what I said about being disappointed differently he would not have gotten mad.  He also said my 10:00 bedtime was artifical and would not leave him enough time for his hobby.  Then he said again if I had said it like x or y he would not have gotten mad.

All of the sudden I could not stop myself.  I started screaming at the top of my lungs.  I AM SORRY THAT I GO TO BED AT 10:00 AND I AM SORRY THAT I DID NOT USE THE RIGHT WORDS.  The whole time I said this I was involuntarily hitting myself in the head - hard.  Then I burst into tears and ran upstairs to my room.

I think I have hit it is making me crazy to stay.  My head still hurts this morning.  I wonder if anyone else has had a reaction like this and what you thought it meant.[/quote]

Do you have kids?[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics