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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Gaslighting-lite?"
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[quote=Anonymous]OP - this is part of the text you said really spoke to you: These women aren't able to clearly express to their spouses that what is said or done to them is hurtful. ... When these women receive any sort of push back to their reactions, they often brush it off by saying, "Forget it, it's okay." That "forget it" isn't just about dismissing a thought, it is about self-dismissal. It's heartbreaking. No wonder some women are unconsciously passive aggressive when expressing anger, sadness, or frustration. For years, they have been subjected to so much gaslighting that they can no longer express themselves in a way that feels authentic to them. They say, "I'm sorry," before giving their opinion. In an email or text message, they place a smiley face next to a serious question or concern, thereby reducing the impact of having to express their true feelings. You then go on to try to figure out ways to not blame your boyfriend and figure out what you can do differently. Can you try to see even how you're handling this as an example of what that section of text is saying? You are in a relationship that is consistently hurtful to you, and is diminishing of you. It doesn't even matter what your BF's motivations or intent are. The relationship isn't giving you what you need or deserve. You need to respect and care for yourself enough to move on. You deserve better. Doesn't mean he's an awful person - he's just awful for you but has shown you how to understand why you need to make different choices. That is an invaluable gift he has given you. Do it justice and go choose someone who is better suited to what you know you need. Good luck![/quote]
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