Reply to too long to detail- but outraged at DH's family's treatment of him

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[quote=Anonymous]Oh, no. I did not mean that we would live with them or they with us. They couldnt anyway. I just mean we will be the first responders when someone falls and breaks their hip. Or when someone goes into diabetic coma.

Besides SIL will move back to the area soon for the free childcare within about three more years.

Here is a story to give you an idea of how screwed up they are: a few years ago MIL called me up describing symptoms that sounded like ovarian cancer. I immediately thought of SIL and how devastated she would be if this were the case. (I lost my mother to cancer).

So, not wanting to panic anyone, but seeing how MIL did not want to go to the doctor, I decided I had to get SIL to convince her to go. I talked to DH about this. He calls her and starts by saying "dont tell Mom we called, but Tanya is worried about her health and thinks she really needs to get checked out".

His sister,and her DH and DC, as it turns out, were on a "FAMILY VACATION" with HIS PARENTS in Florida. We had no idea they were even out of the state, much less that there was a "family vacation".

DH later confronted SIL as in "WTF? How can you go on a family vacatino and not even let us know you are leaving? What if something happened to you- we woudlnt even know>" Her response: We didnt talk about you at all- it just didnt come up.

MIL's explanation was that at the time she bought the tickets for EVERYONE we were estranged and not talking. So eventhough we reconciled, she decided not to tell us because she knew we could not afford a vacation so she didnt want to "rub it in our faces>"

We just could not believe the obtuse bizarre and unloving reasoning process. You can see how they have invsted pretty strongly in keeping our families separate.

SIL claims she didnt know we didnt know.

Im trying to remember how long ago that was, probably about four years ago.

It gets tiresome to hold grudges. DH and I were furious and kind of sickended. Its really pathological. And that example in particular speaks VOLUMES.
 I even remember MIL trying to smooth it over saying "IM sorry you are not the same easy going way I am."

I havent thought about that in a long time.

Yeah, they are pretty sick. I am pleased to report that despite his problems, DH is a loving and compassionate person who would not even treat someone he doesnt like this way.

KNOWLEDGE IS POWER in this case. I really feel more relieved than anything. Now I can work on my family, my marriage in the context of this new information, and protect DD from this continuing in any way in her life.[/quote]

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