Reply to DC missing out on grandparents' love

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think perhaps you are romanticizing the grandparent-grandchild relationship. I much prefer the healthy relationship I had with mine (lived overseas, saw them every few years) then the obsessive, constantly visiting,smothering relationship MIL wants to have. You don't need constant contact to have a bond.

Favoritism is a problem if course. Focus on your in laws if they're more sane. We got ours an iPad do we can bridge the distance with FaceTime. [/quote]

Good advice.

If the favoritism extends to truly ham-fisted stuff like handing Local Grandkid a gift right in front of Long-distance Grandkid and that's a problem, then you need to speak up (but please -- don't speak up to say "Every kid should get exactly the same thing" but instead, "Please don't do that in front of my kids--can you see how that would make them feel?").

If the favoritism is more along the lines of "Grandma goes to Local Grandkid's concert/school play/Scout event, Grandma praises Local Grandkid more for his/her badges, awards, school stuff" and so on, well, that may indeed be a result of Grandma's just being able to see more of Local, and that is something you truly cannot change.

Hard to tell since you don't define what the favoritism is that has caused so many issues. But if the issues really come more from things that neither Grandma nor your sister's family can or should change -- like the fact they live closer to each other and can be more involved on a daily basis -- then consider whether it's really about your wanting a closeness that is not possible with the distances involved.[/quote]

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