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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "I am dependent on H and he is starting to mistreat me - advice?"
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[quote=Anonymous]Hi all, My H and I are here on visas - for his work - my visa status is dependent on his and I am not allowed to seek employment. We have a preschooler. Lately H is doing things that I am afraid can be called emotional abuse. Two examples: the kid got sick, had fever, and fussed and wanted a night light on. H flipped out on me and son, screaming how tired he is of all the commotion (we live in a small apartment), how I have spoiled the child that he cannot sleep alone and/or without night light. Come on, the child is sick! Another example: we came back from a trip to a different time zone and the child was up at 4 am. I let him play and went to get him some breakfast because I knew he would be back in bed, asleep, in a couple hours. DS was whiney and kept asking for a treat which I refused to give him, so he did yell a little, I put him in time out, but again there was commotion. Again, H flipped out, yelling hysterically that his sleep is disrupted, how we get on his nerves, how DS cannot sleep normally and is always throwing tantrums, etc. H then took the credit cards out of my wallet, saying that he is going to file for divorce and needs to control the cash flow, then returned them, I mean, full on hysterics. I am at a loss as to what to do. I think both cases are just a preschooler being sick or jet lagged, it's not like he is waking up every night throwing tantrums. I think H is behaving like a jerk. I don't think renting a bigger place would solve the problem, or would it? I think he would find something else to be mad about. I cannot seek employment right now. Even my internship opportunities are very limited with this visa. I am also not a highly skilled specialist in high demand, so I don't think I can find an employer who will arrange a visa for me. Do I go back to my home country, taking my son with me? (H will not object) This will severely limit DS's quality of life though. Do I ask H to separate, and hope that he pays our expenses until I get me work permit, and then go through official divorce? Do I stick it out and wait for the work permit? (may take a year or more) Do we just rent a bigger place where he can have his man cave? (It will really be a stretch financially, and I am not sure it will solve the problem) Appreciate any feedback I can get. Thanks. [/quote]
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