Reply to SaHM having a hard time getting back to work, getting divorced. I'm screwed.

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[quote=Anonymous]You should e-mail/call your friends (particularly friends with law degrees or friends married to people with law degrees) and ask for recommendations. The ideal person will be a solo lawyer or lawyer at a smaller firm who a friend with a law degree knows personally.

Pretty much all lawyers cost money, but there are ways you can keep the cost down:

1. Find a lawyer at a smaller firm or in solo practice.

2. Be up front with the lawyer about your financial concerns. Lawyers who do family law full time know a lot of folks are struggling for money. (And there’s no reason to be shy, because this person is about to know all your personal business anyway).

3.  Reduce the time the lawyer needs to spend preparing to represent you. It doesn’t take a lot of time or money for a lawyer to think through a legal problem and give you advice. What runs up the bills is when the lawyer needs to investigate your case, ask you tons of follow up questions, nag you to return documents, etc. Here are two ways you can keep your fees low:

a.	Get organized. Start collecting all your financial documents, all your communications with your spouse, evidence of your job search and child care situation, etc. I can elaborate). The goal here is that when you meet with an attorney and the attorney says “Well, to answer that, I’d really need to review your past employment history” you can just say “Well great, I brought my old resume and a folder with my old W-2.”

b.	Be specific about what you want from the attorney. Here’s an example of how to do that: Suppose you get a confrontational e-mail from your husband. It's a great idea to discuss this e-mail with your attorney. But if you just forward the e-mail to the attorney with a note that says “What do I do?!?!?!” the attorney is going to spend time researching, asking follow up questions, drafting a response, etc. Instead, when you receive the e-mail, think about how you would respond. Then, draft a proposed response. Send both the original e-mail and the response to the attorney with a note that says “Here’s what he just sent me and how I propose to respond. Is this OK?” The attorney will spend much less time and money handling your concern.

In short, take work of the attorney’s plate. Pretend you’re the attorney’s paralegal, if that helps.

Unfortunately, a lawyer will still end up costing you a bit (unless your husband has to pay the bill), but you can’t think of a divorce attorney as optional. If you were in a car crash, you wouldn’t hem and haw about whether you [i]really[/i] need to see a doctor. You’d just go and figure out how to pay later. A divorce is kind of like a legal car crash, and you need professional help as soon as possible.

Good luck!
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