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[quote=Anonymous]MIL PP, here's a suggestion.  Whenever you see one of your children or one of your grandchildren, make them the focus of your attention and the center of the universe for the first 30 minutes.  Only ask about them, how they are doing, what's going on in their lives.  Anytime the conversation starts to "wind down", e.g. you feel that they've conveyed what they want to about the state of their lives, then you can start with the "family news" about others.  Put the family in front of you first and the rest of the family secondary.  If there are more than one present, make sure to keep the focus on everyone present.  So, if daughter Jane is visiting with Susie and Johnny and son Bobby is visiting with Mike, then you ask how everyone is.  If Bobby is monopolizing the conversation, take a minute to ask Jane how work is going or to ask the kids who had a good summer vacation story.  Make sure to give each person who wants it a chance to tell their own.  After everyone has had a chance to talk about themselves, then you can talk about other family members.

And when talking about children high school and under, try to make all comments on an absolute scale and not on a relative scale.  If Susie did well on her SAT, tell her that she did well.  And that is NOT the moment to talk about how her cousin Rachel scored so well she was accepted to Harvard.  There will be time later to mention that, or perhaps mention it to the adult children after the grandchildren have moved on to other things. [/quote]

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