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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP- I was the "first responder" to your post.

This really is the first step- knowing you arent alone. Feeling like you are the only one can really distort a persons perceptions as to what the options are.

Im finding myself in a WEIRD place today. Met with a counselor Ive met with before, told her ALL of my husbands history, and she said I should really check out Borderline Personality Disorder. Not to pathologize DH but a lot of the absence of real coping mechanisms and the reactive aspects of it really point to that. And I feel a combination of relief and that this is a death sentence for the marriage.

But I know there is a long road ahead as to what I am going to do either way. IT just helps to have another angle on the problem. NOONE has EVER mentioned this, not any psychiatrist, not any psychologist. Good old social worker nailed something, a pattern, that NOONE ELSE DID.

Go figure.

Hang in there OP. Do nice things for yourself here and there. Dont let this control your entire life. Thats the boat I am in: its controlled my whole life and I am done with that. Come what may.

Also, I must protet my child from being exposed any further to my husbands inability to cope with things. I have to make sure she knows his responses, when they arent normal, are not correct. That is tough because I dont want to undermine him as a parent But his distortion is something I cannot have direct our daughters future happiness.

All this is to say: I know there will be more dark places. But I am no longer afraid.[/quote]

Thank you, PP. you are right about not letting it control our lives. I wish you good luck and I hope this new direction from your social worker helps get to the route of your DH's problems. I appreciate all the advice and I'll be hoping that things turn a corner for both of us soon.[/quote]

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