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[quote=Anonymous]Why would she seek an emergency restraining order complete with wire taps when she has never even asked him to leave the house or threatened to leave herself? OP didn't indicate that the husband has ever harmed either her or the children or has ever threatened to do so. If her first step is to suddenly ask a court to remove his access to his home and his children, it will escalate a bad situation.

It is awful that OP's friend is in this situation. But if she doesn't believe she or her children are at immediate risk of harm, she should get advice, probably from the therapist who already knows this guy, about whether there is way to help him. It is totally inappropriate for him to threaten suicide, but that doesn't mean he's not suffering from a serious mental illness.

It seems like a lot of people have a hangup on accepting mental illness as a "real" illness. I don't think several posters would advise her to get out of there immediately if he had cancer.

While I believe there are probably some people who really are awful enough to use suicide threats solely as leverage, there are a lot more who are using them as an awful, misguided, cry for help. Given that OP's friend seems to believe that he really is depressed and that he's had more moderate mental issues throughout their marriage, it sounds like there's plenty of reason to help this guy before pushing him off of a cliff, and a surprise restraining order is a pretty big shove.[/quote]

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