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[quote=Anonymous]OP, just another voice of support here.  My DH and I have a baby the same age, and DH generally works 60-80 hours/wk, sometimes more (for instance, he worked Sat noon to Mon 5pm with only 3 hours of sleep in there).  It has been easier for me to set some expectations, as I also work full-time.  However, I work from home and have a lot of flexibility, so it's easy for him to feel/assume that I can or should be handling the majority of our childcare and home-related duties.  We've had a lot of arguments, and it has been a slow process, but he is gradually coming around to adjusting his schedule and realizing that he can't continue to work the same way he did when we were childless.  One thing that has really helped was getting him to commit to picking our son up from daycare.  It's not that I can't do that task, but when my husband does it it means that he's home in the evening and gets to spend some time with our son.  He never manages it every day of the week, and some weeks (like last week) he doesn't manage it at all... but he knows it is what's expected, and I'd say on average he picks him up three times/week.  That's three nights/week we're home together as a family, and it's been good for everyone.  It's fine with me if he needs to do more work from home after DS goes to bed - just having him there and present for 2 hours makes such a difference to me.

Anyway, I agree with the PP who suggested that you try to see if you can get your husband to commit to being home early a few nights per week, or staying home longer a few mornings per week, whatever you feel you need.  If the expectation is there and he has agreed to it, it will be harder for your husband to call and say he can't make it that night.[/quote]

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