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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP Here

11:51 LOL. It's not that bad- he actually is at the office.

12:02 He works in finance. He's a VP, but I think because he's so much younger than the other VPs he still feels the need to prove himself all the time. The long lunch is definitely a good suggestion and something we do occasionally. Should probably start doing it more often. 
[/quote]

Honestly, OP, please also start a conversation about family values with him. Make sure that you are on the same page, or, if you're not on the same page, that you have a game plan for how to get on the same page.

I used to be married to a workaholic. I was in no way concerned that he was having an affair with anyone other than his job. He always had totally legitimate reasons for not being around, for working all the time, for prioritizing anything that happened at the office over everything that happened at home. It started when he took a relatively prestigious position (in a non-profit here). We did not have a baby until he had already been in that position for 2 years. I thought, based on all the conversations we'd had, that he would scale back his hours at work when we had a baby, but he didn't. The expectations by his supervisors, peers and staff was that he would be in at 8 and out at 7, plus work related travel and work related evening events, had already been solidified by the time the baby arrived. We went to therapy together and I went to therapy alone. We made agreements, made dates, made plans, and he followed through on exactly none of the things he agreed to do. We have been divorced for a year now, and while I noted a small uptick in his involvement in our DD's life (we share custody) for a while at the start, he is right back to where he was 2 years ago now - traveling all the time, working long hours, etc.  I wish very much that we'd started working on those issues earlier, before they became so severe that they were unfixable. [/quote]

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