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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My DW and I have been separated now going on three years.  I moved out after I discovered that she had an affair, which she refuses to acknowledge to me.  She keeps sayint she wants to get back together, but I tell her until she acknowledges the affair and we get counseling to deal with the issues that led her to it I am not coming back.  Note:  My DW has a very high conflict personality.  She thrives on drama.  I do my best not to get sucked into it, as I need to judiciously pick my battles.

In any case, yesterday we were talking about our DD and her academic performance - basically her laziness when it comes to homework.  I have already laid out to DD that her homework is her responsibility.  If she doesn't do it, then the bad grades that are the consequence are hers to own.  I never had my parents police my homework at age 14.  I believe my daughter should be able to take care of this on her own.  DW's yelling at her, standing over her shoulders, etc. is actually counterproductive and leads DD to push back.  It is a teenage thing.  So, I told my DW that she needs to take a hands off approach and let DD stand or fall on her own.  She blew up at me, telling me I am being stupid b/c we need to impress DD that her homework is important.  I told her that I already have, but she is not going to be motivated unless that motivation comes from inside.  I then related that my parents never felt the need to "watch over me."  She responded, "well, your father never left your mother alone to handle all this s**t."  At that point, I lost it and told her that my father "never cheated on my mother!"  This is the first time in a long time I brought this up again, and it elicited a strong "F**k You!" and then a rage expletive filled text messages to my BB and e-mail over the next hour or so.  I will just hold on to these as evidence as to how unhinged she is.  Perhaps they will come in handy when I finally put in those divorce papers.

[/quote]

I don't see how is she unhinged. It sounds like a run of the mill escalating argument in which you played your role, too.[/quote]

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