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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]PP, you sound very young. Why is someone weak for forgiving a spouse? A person can still have self-respect. Everything isn't as simple as "Well, I'll divorce him."  They have a child. Do you? That changes everything.

Forgiveness does not mean that you tell the person that it was okay for cheating on you. I've watched my sister and her husband go through hell to move past his infidelity. They have been going through extensive therapy. Was he a jerk for cheating on her? Absolutely. I am the first person to tell you what an absolute jackass he was for what he did.  And with time and hard work on BOTH their parts, it turns out the infidelity was a symptom of some pretty significant issues with my BIL that he is now addressing.

My sister is one of the strongest people you will ever meet. She has a son who needs both a strong mother AND father. With a great deal of work, he will have both. 
[/quote]

+1.  in my 20s i could not imagine keeping a man who cheated on me.  now at 40 with a DH and two young kids, i could not imagine NOT trying to salvage my marriage after a partner cheats.  and once i caught myself fantasizing about cheating (never, ever acted on it) i totally get how it happens and it is not necessarily a deal breaker for me.

congratulations, OP!!!  wishing you peace as you and DH move forward![/quote]

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