Reply to As A Guy, How Do Trust Again?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Man here. I'm somewhat embarrassed to even ask this question, but here goes:

My wife cheated the day after Christmas. She had zero remorse when I found out, and she said that she was leaving. It turned out to be news to the other guy, because he bailed on her. Because of our kid I tried to work it out, but a month into counseling she started talking to two other guys. She was up to four when I finally just gave up. We just got divorced, and now I'm trying to slowly get back out there. I was content to give myself time, but I find myself becoming increasingly bitter. Maybe it sounds crazy, but I feel like I need to see that not all women are as wretched as my ex-wife.

Is this a bad idea? Are there other ways to get over it besides just giving it time? I'm 30. I still want more kids and a family, but I don't want to punish someone else for what she did.

[/quote]

Remember that no one else is guilty of what your wife did.
Find a woman who has a demonstrated history of fidelity.  For example, my ex cheated on me with more than one woman.  I dragged him to therapy and fought to try to stay married to him for several years because I did not want my child to be a child of divorce.  Ultimately his last affair was too much for me.  Never once during all of that was I unfaithful to him.

Now, too bad I am too old for you :)  But I think I've proven that I am a faithful, loyal spouse, even when my spouse behaved abominably.  I honored my marriage vows, ultimately leaving because of his adultery - which even Jesus and Dr. Laura both say are acceptable reasons!  :)

If you can find someone who has been through the same pain  you have, and yet can hold their head up high knowing that they always took the high road, then perhaps you have found the woman for you.  [/quote]

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