Reply to Disagreements about money, responsibility, childcare- help!

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If he is doing childcare on his four days off (which I assume makes it possible for you to work those 4 days) then how would he also be working a second job or doing overtime? who would do the childcare those 4 days?[/quote]

I would be watching our preschooler. He's in school in the mornings 3X a week. I would do my work in that time and after the kids' bedtime. The childcare thing isn't a huge deal (we wouldn't and don't have to pay anyone) because of the flexibility of freelancing.

The thing is, me "being home" often means I don't get full work days anyway. I'm asked for this, that, or the other and made to feel bad when I have to go work. Not all the time, but often enough.[/quote]

I don't understand how this would help you at all.  You'd be cutting a huge chunk of time out of those 4 days to watch your kids, and then would have to make up that work later.  Seems you'd be stretched even thinner.  Neither you nor your husband have thought this out well or worked out anything regarding it.  You need to sit down and decide if it is really worth it for him to continue at this job.  You also need to say when you're working, you are working.  [/quote]

Yeah-- it sounds like we need to both do a better job of understanding things from the other persons' perspective.

It's not a question of whether he should continue this job-- it's something I'm so proud of him for. And our future will be just fine once we get over this early hump as he rises on the pay scale and gets promotions.

Also, his overtime pay is quite substantial-- with just 4 overtime shifts a month we'd be in much better shape. I should also mention that the overtime shifts can be at night. So we still have flexibility with childcare since he's home during daytime hours (and he gets to sleep on the shift). I wish he was more motivated and understood my position better. I'm just tired of the blame-- it would be easier to handle if he were appreciative, but he doesn't seem to be.

I agree that I need to be more specific and unwavering about my work hours.[/quote]

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