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[quote=Anonymous]Hi just adding that as an aspiring single mom myself, I consider her VERY lucky but it doesn't sound like she planned on single motherhood--and it sounds like you are married, and found your husband before 38.

I can tell you the single years between 35 and when you decide to become a single mother are plenty fraught with pain.

I don't know your friend's story but the way you told it, sounds like she's had plenty of disappointment and heartbreak in the life partner department.

I'm not saying you have to compare, just understand that she hasn't had your heartbreak but if at 42 she's with a non-committal man, she has also had heartbreak over a major life issue that makes her look at others and say "why was it so easy for them"?

I speak from experience on both sides of it--the inability to find a mate, then the inability to conceive.  Neither is fun.  Sounds like you've each had one. . . so I guess you can try to move to gratitude that your struggle is over.

The memories never go away, by the way.  Each year I relive the traumas of the last.  Each due date for a baby that was with me for even a short time, never mind mothers' day and my birthdays, are sheer torture.

They pass.  This will pass for you.  Let it go instead of holding on to it--it surprises me how often I have to make a conscious effort to let things pass.  Pain can be addictive when you've had so much of it.  I think they call it PTSD in some circles.
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