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[quote=Anonymous]I'm curious how others out there have handled their spouse attending Alcoholics Anonymous meetings. Background: DH has been going to AA for approx. 18 months now and has gotten into a routine of attending meetings every weekday morning and 2-3 nights a week as well. He gets ready for work and leaves the house each weekday, attends his meeting and then heads straight to the office.  I count my blessings that he finally recognized he had a problem and continues to take steps to deal with it. Believe me, I get it that this is a blessing. Before he started going to AA, I was constantly angry and resentful of his drinking and his trying to hide the extent of the problem.

Fast forward to now. In 18 months, he's only slipped once for a few days, but has otherwise stayed on track. I get the whole "one day at a time" thing and I know that I can't bank on his staying sober into perpetuity. I'm glad that he is doing AA, but in the meantime I worry about our becoming more and more disconnected. I feel like we truly talk less and less. He sometimes shares a bit about the meetings while respecting the anonymity of the other folks there, but sometimes I feel completely out of the loop when it comes to what's going on with him. I'm reading what I've written and I know I'm not expressing it well. I guess I feel like AA is his new wife and I'm being replaced. As I type this, I feel ridiculous. I know I should feel some degree of relief that he's not drinking anymore, but I find myself feeling a new kind of resentment. I'm doing double-duty with our young kids a lot of the time so he can go to the meetings and he's talking to me less and sharing what's on his mind more and more with his AA group. Meanwhile, our oldest child is getting more persistent in asking "where is Dad going?" when he heads out the door for another meeting. He always responds with "don't worry about it," or "I'll be back soon" and then the questions get posed to me repeatedly once he is gone.

I did attend one Al-Anon meeting with his encouragement. Everyone there was very welcoming and kind, but if I'm being honest, I'm not sure whether I want to go to another and quite frankly it's hard to even get to Al-Anon meetings when I'm often on solo-duty with the kids so he can go to his AA meetings. I'm so tired from being the solo parent on weekday morning duty (and often in evenings too) as well that by the time Sat morning rolls around and I could attend an Al Anon meeting while he watches kids, all I want to do is sleep in while he does kid duty.

Anyone else been through this? Any coping suggestions or advice. I love my husband. He is a good person and a good father. I'm proud of him for working hard on his sobriety, but I'm struggling to figure things out on my end. Thanks and sorry for the long post.[/quote]

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