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[quote=Anonymous]I am a married SAHM. I work part time at home during naps/evenings and such. But besides a little work, I am by all definitions SAHM. I get to do all the normal SAHM things: playground, library time, 2YO friendly museums, gymnastics class, walking/jogging on park trails, etc. I meet and see pretty much all of the same friends everywhere I go. Sometimes I see the same people 4 times a week, just at these types of activities. In the spring, I even started a weekly playgroup at the park. I posted it through church and also on my facebook, and I've made it super open--anyone who wants to pass the word along can do that. It's not just a "my best friends" or just church people kind of thing. Over the summer, it has grown into a hit! Actually it's even better now that school has started.

But lately I have still been feeling SOOO left out and socially unhappy. It always seems like people are getting together outside these activities, but why am I never invited? OK I won't say NEVER, but it sometimes seems that way. Why are other people developing close friendships, but I never seem to have any BEST friends? I have lots of acquaintances, but no girlfriends I can really talk to.

What makes me feel worse is someone who has been living down the street from me for a year now. I'll call her Stephanie (name changed). At these activities, she always ends up having cliquey conversations. I feel like she "preys" on my closest friends, gets really close to them, and then all of a sudden they are best friends. At first I wasn't super annoyed. It seemed normal because of the ages of Stephanie's kids. I have just the one 2YO, and she has a 5YO and almost-3YO. So, she was making friends with those who had older kids too.

But there are a couple of situations I find crazy annoying, Stephanie has become friends with a newer woman whose daughter is even younger than mine (call her Kristen). And all of a sudden they are best friends! By the way I have A TON in common with Kristen, and was hoping to be good friends with her. I've had Kristen over so our kids could play, and she has watched my daughter for me while I had a dr's appointment. We used to talk frequently, but lately I can't even get a word in while we're sitting at the park. They're always sitting, having in-depth conversations by themselves.

Stephanie also has this annoying habit of conversationally being like "remember what we talked about before?" as if they had this super awesome conversation that others couldn't even begin to understand. You know what I mean? Things like: "Oh hi, Megan, how did that thing go with your mom? Is she doing OK?" And I didn't even KNOW Megan's mom had a thing.... 
 
The worst part is I also feel like Stephanie stole my best friend. I did have a best friend for a year or so, and I work with her. All of a sudden they are really close, and also have these exclusive-only-two-people-talking-backs-are-practically-turned-to-not-include-others conversations. And I know they get together a couple times a week otherwise. I hardly ever see my old best friend anymore--only for work.

While Stephanie is talking to these friends, I don't even feel like I can join the conversation. And she monopolizes them the WHOLE time... (my only luck has been for those friends to arrive before her).

I don't get it! I want to be friendly to everyone! I've been super open to new people. I always have pleasant conversations with people and don't pull any of those kind of cliquey tricks.

OK, I know it's OK for people to have their own friendships and relationships. I know I can just keep working on building and maintaining those myself--and this whole debacle is pushing me to do better. BUT...

Based on this I have a couple more thing to say:
1) Don't be like "Stephanie." Seriously people. Life is too short to make other people feel marginalized. Maybe stop to think if you are accidentally doing this to someone.
2) Any advice? 
3) Is it weird that sometimes I'm secretly upset with my daughter about this? She likes to play on her own frequently at these activities. So it's hard to be near other moms a lot of the time. Ok, I won't blame her. She doesn't know. It's just hard to not see this as an obstacle.[/quote]

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