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[quote=Anonymous]My teenage son came to me for advice regarding his newly overweight girlfriend.  With school now back in session, she gained enough weight over the summer that it became a major topic of conversation at school.  She is aware of the gain but has not taken action or is overly concerned.  (There are no medical problems.)  She asked my son if he thought she was fat and he avoided answering for not wanting to hurt her feelings.

As a typical boy, he tells me that his feelings for her are starting to be impacted by her weight.  As well, he is starting to feel a great amount of peer pressure from the other boys in his grade.  He is truly very conflicted over this situation.

I am aware of the many body issues surrounding girls and want to make sure she is not negatively impacted in life by being told she is overweight in HS - or having boys break up with her due to weight issues.  I have told my son it is best not to directly answer her weight questions but to instead turn it around and ask her how she feels about it, what she's considered doing, results she's seen, etc. People generally only make changes when they come to their own conclusions and are not told by others what to do.

On one hand, if he is truthful, he risks hurting her feelings.  If he says nothing, or is not asked for his opinion, then he feels this situation will continue and most probably negatively impact their relationship.  A "damned if you do, damned if you don't" situation.  He is a caring boy with a big heart and is truly upset over how to handle this.  I have been thinking all weekend as to whether there is better advice out there.  Please help!  [/quote]

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