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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have seen several comments from people who ask their parents and/or inlaws to stay at a hotel when they visit (citing a variety of reasons) so that the visit is more enjoyable for everyone. If you do this, what do you do when you visit them? Do you stay at their house or do you stay in a hotel? If you stay in a hotel, how do they feel about that? What about siblings - if your SIL is okay staying at her mother's house when visiting but you prefer the hotel does that work or do you have to suck it up and stay at your MIL too?[/quote]

My in-laws have a tiny house (only one bedroom, we would have to sleep in a front room that's basically a junk room with some ancient single beds in it). For over a decade we've rented an apartment in the same town, maybe a two-minute drive and 12-minute walk from the house. Everyone has personal space and the elderly grandparents do not feel like they have to be "on" and talking to/interacting with us constantly, and we can stay up late watching TV and not disturb anyone as we would in their house. No one is ever offended (and the owner of the apartment loves us regular customers!!). We love the arrangement and they do too, because it also takes away the need to feel they must feed us so many meals -- WE can do the hosting and save my MIL, who is in poor health, any worries about "I should do a meal for the relatives."

Even if we lived closer to them we would stay at a place of our own somehow. We'd do it even if they had a bigger house. Too much togetherness is not good and creates tension, and I don't understand families where the expectation is "You must stay with us or we will be offended and upset, even if it means we are already upset at how you crowd our space, eat our food and generally are underfoot." [/quote]

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