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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]That is way messed up. I agree that there is a middle ground between putting up with this and completely cutting her off. You won't find the simple LASTING solution, though, here.

I would suggest you talk with a therapist so you can unlearn some bad habits (like apologizing). A therapist could be that objective voice to help you transition from being at the mercy of your sister's games to a confident woman who doesn't engage in such nonsense. This will take some time on your part. You may find yourself taking two steps forward and then a step back at times. When you change your behavior, it will upset the dynamic with your sister. A good therapist will help you navigate through that.

Good luck.[/quote]

OP, I agree strongly with this post. Please consider getting yourself into therapy. Those of us suggesting therapy are not saying you're wrong or messed up -- we're saying that you need to examine [u]why [/u]you care so much about having a sibling in your life that you tolerate the treatment she dishes out. You want a sibling, but you may be clinging to an image of an ideal relationship that does not exist and never did exist between you; you seem to want to hold out hope that things will change when clearly, things won't change on her side, and you need some professional help to weigh whether it is worthwhile for YOU to try to maintain this so-called relationship.

And the issue isn't really that she's "immature." That term indicates you rather hope she'll outgrow all this nonsense. She won't. She's not immature; she's got a manipulative and toxic personality, and is not going to change for you or for the sake of the kids.

Seeing a therapist is not just about unlearning to apologize. I'd see one to find out what has been lacking in your life that you want this relationship in spite of her behaviors. I would also focus on building strong, positive relationships with family friends and their kids, rather than letting a blood tie have so much sway over you. You can make your own "family" and it doesn't necessarily have to involve a toxic person who just happens to have the same parents as you.[/quote]

Spot on. Completely agree.[/quote]

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