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Reply to "Uninvited mom with history of lack of support from visiting around baby's birth "
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[quote=Anonymous]My mom has a history of not supporting me emotionally. When I was a child she threw away my diaries chronicling my dad's physical and emotional abuse and lied to concerned parents to hide the evidence. When I grew up she wasn't there for me during other emotional crises and once even helped a sibling hide a car they'd borrowed and refused to return for months. Through therapy, hers and mine, we've worked to get to a better place. Or so I thought... I am now bedridden and 35 weeks into a very high risk pregnancy. Unfortunately, our poor toddler was playing with our dog (who apparently hadn't had the month's flea treatment) and now has well over 50 flea bites over her arms and legs. Kiddo is miserable and we've been in ongoing communique with her pediatrician about her treatment. I hauled myself out of bed to help comfort and care for her (which involves meds every 6 hours, baths 3 times daily with tea tree and vitamin E, multiple reapplications of anti itch creams several times daily and nightly). DH went on a blitz to rid the house on top of all the other duties he's had to take on. I'm normally a tough chick but hearing my poor munchkin in distress, coupled with emotional turmoil I'm going through as I worry about her, our unborn baby's heart defects, the constant illness and pain I'm in, and financial impact of reduced pay on short term disability, and stress DH is under....I hit a wall. I called for a listening ear and she didn't want to hear it. In fact, she did what she's done so many times and avoided me and the topic altogether. I ended up getting what I needed in that moment from my wonderful BFF also from my DH. But as I thought about my mom's visit for the pending birth, I realized that presence would just prove more stressful. I'd worry whether she was going to be there emotionally in the way that I need. I'd worry constantly about her coming through. So I shared with her my disappointment and concerns and asked her not to come "help." Am I going to far? Should I give her a chance if she reaches out? [/quote]
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