Reply to Dh makes it hard for me to be a good mother

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[quote=Anonymous]That sounds really hard OP.  My situation is similar, though not as severe.

My suggestions would be:
- pick one (or two or three if he's willing) thing that your husband can take more responsiblity for - the homework seems like an obvious candidate.  Ask him to do this one thing, do it consistently, and take it off your plate.  Make it something that will feel significant for you.
- pick one night a week that will be delivery for dinner, or fast food, or going out to eat, or whatever.  But take the dinner prep off your plate.  Maybe that one night you take one kid out for dinner - just you and that child.  The rest of the group figures it out for themselves or has leftovers or whatever.  Take that one meal with that one child and make it a fun thing.  Even if you just did this once a month it would make an impression.
- prioritize things a little differently.  Prioritize a half hour of fun, before dinner or bath or cleaning or flossing.  Skip flossing once in a while so you can spontaneously goof off.  Hire someone to clean the cars if you have to.

You probably will always get the "not the fun parent" rap.  But I bet you are also (and will always be) the parent they know they can really count on in a pinch, the one that holds them to a higher standard, and possible the one they feel most safe with as a result.

I think a bedrock issue here though is marital stuff - not so much the parenting thing.

Good luck.[/quote]

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