Reply to In a pickle over daughter and ivy college choice....am I overthinking this?

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[quote=Anonymous]I think while my d has all the qualifications to get into an Ivy,  I am concerned about the privileged and elite angle that so many seem to revere. We are at the lower end of the socioeconomic ladder at her very good private school (grandparents paid) but we have had our share of battles over her friends who have 2nd and 3rd homes, think nothing of jaunting off on fancy trips at a moments notice, have had unlimited spending budgets,etc...as a younger girl she coudl not help but compare herself to them and what she didn't have and trust me she had more than enough! Thankfully as she matured, she understood we are all different and felt grateful for the opportunity given to her.  In any case her best friend (especially in the last two years they have become very very close)  is a good kid but highly indulged from a very very wealthy and connected family. Its a given she is going to both her parents alma matter X University. This is where my own D wants to go too. I am so afraid that she will get in and it will be a continuation of much of what we have gone through but in a much bigger more profound way.

I can see it now, she will not branch out to meet new kids because she will have this built in friend who is already connected there in many ways and will quickly become part of her "inner circle". Truthfully,  one of the big highlights for me as  her mom seeing her go to college is letting her spread her wings and getting away from this insulated environment and away from the sometimes tyrannical rule of this group of kids she is with. They are not bad kids but kids who are super privileged and used to getting what they want, how they want and when they want.  Not the case with my daughter yet somehow she blends in quite well with them, go figure.  So..bottom line, am I overthiinking this? Am I justified? She is just a few months away from submitting her applications and I want to be fair but true to my instincts too.

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