Reply to Is This Verbal/Mental/Emotional, etc. Abuse In Your Opinion Everyone?

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[quote=Anonymous]I really need your help on this guys.

I have been with my boyfriend for about 4-5 months now. We are both in our early thirties and he has his own place and so do I. He has a good job and supports himself well as do I. He has a small child he sees every month or so for about 2-3 days. While he drinks socially and smokes cigarettes, he doesn't use any illicit drugs.

Anyway, there are certain aspects of our relationship that have emerged that have been quite out of the ordinary and seem to be getting stranger.
For starters, for the past six weeks, we have been getting into arguments every day. I feel like I am walking on eggshells every minute since any little thing will set him off. Whether I talk to long to the male grocery store clerk or whether I take too long in the restroom, he always accuses me of doing something illicit. If I talk to the grocery store clerk &quot;too long,&quot; he accuses me of flirting w/him. If I am in the bathroom a little too long for his liking, then he assumes I must be doing drugs in there. His accusations are really way off base and come from left field. I have NEVER EVER given him any reason to think I would do any of these things. Most recently, he as started accusing me of worse things, again with no reason whatsoever. When I do not answer my phone during the day whether I am napping, showering, or working, he accuses me of sleeping with another man. If I am in my closet looking for an outfit to wear, then he marches right in and asks me if I am snorting something up my nose. Ditto when I go to the kitchen to get a drink. And get this. I have a 10 yr old son from a previous marriage who I share 50/50 custody with and I have him the next two weeks. Well we were playing cards last night and after he went to bed, my bf asked me if I had ever entertained thoughts of him molesting him. I was floored and almost (!) smacked him. (Instead, I threw the whole deck of cards across the floor.) Then before bed, he accused me of flirting with my son at dinner, that when I talked to him, I did it while continuously licking the mashed potatoes off of my spoon, etc. Again, random accusations with absolutely no merit behind them.

I have heard that when someone accuses you of doing something over and over, the reason they are doing so is because they themselves are guilty as charged. In other words, if they are doing something illicit on the down low, then they assume you must be too. 
So I am not only wondering if he could be using drugs and cheating on me which would be HUGE deal-breakers for me, but since he has a four and a half year old daughter that he sees unsupervised monthly, I just wonder if he could be abusing her.  &lt;----- Honestly, that is my hugest concern now. The other stuff is just relationship stuff and I can send him on is merry way..no problem. But could the accusations of me abusing my son be a sign that he is abusing his daughter??! If so, should I bring it up to someone? I.e., Social Worker, CPS, etc.?? Would this be a red flag that he could be a potential abuser?[/quote]

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