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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think you're going to have to confront her if you want it to stop. Pick a time when you're calm and not dealing with the immediate issue (like, not when she's dropping them off at your mon's) and only speak for yourself. It's totally awful that she brought her daughter's sleep over friends to your mom's place and that they ate all the cake, but its not your issue. Try to think up your phrasing in advance - Mary, you know I love you and your kids, but I'm feeling overwhelmed right now and it was very difficult for me to watch them last week when you went out on errands and came back at 6pm. I felt tired and stressed. I also felt really bad when niece interrupted our vow renewal party to ask me for a snack and you didn't do anything. Can we talk about this?

And I would think long and hard about whether she's hiding something - an affair, an addiction - because this behavior seems really bizarre.[/quote]

OP here. This is great advice. I'll try this approach of keeping it focused on my particular issue and see what happens. I'm wondering if she's finding some of the demands of motherhood overwhelming. My other sisters and mom have long complained about the kid drop offs and I know at least one sister has said something to her about it. It's so well known that it's kind of a family joke, like "Oh you know, Sheila will stick you with those kids in a heartbeat."  
She started having kids a year or so after college, so maybe she feels as if she missed out out on some things. I dunno, pure conjecture on my part. Best thing to do is express my feelings and ask her what's up with the behavior. [/quote]

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