Reply to Think friend has dropped me - should I ask what happened?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]People get dropped for all kinds of reasons, reasonable and no so reasonable. But they are not going to explain, "Larla, when you cheated on your husband by saying you were at my house and then dragged your DD into it, and she was stalking my house to find out the truth, I did not love it..." or "[b]Larla, when your 12 year old son fondled my 9 year old DD and you thought it was cute..[/b]."[/quote]

Um, if this happened to my 9 year old, I would certainly say something direct and unambiguous to the parents.  That's pretty serious stuff.

Beyond that level of seriousness, maybe people don't explain why they drop friends, but they should.  If someone is your friend, you should tell them if you think they are behaving in a way that harms you or offends you.

I think this secretive dropping of friends via shunning is juvenile.  If someone offends you or does something inappropriate or dishonest or whatever, be an adult, tell them and break off the friendship if it is an unresolvable thing or an unforgivable offense.  But just all of a sudden ignoring them without any hint of a problem or explanation is, again, juvenile.

If you no longer want to be friends with someone, than why would you be afraid to let them know why?  Again, (I'm the poster above) I think it's because people like to hedge.  They don't want to completely cut ties, because they may need something from that person in the future or suddenly find they have a use for them.  I think that is wrong.  It is an outgrowth of a culture that views people as means to an end, a culture that has over-emphasized networking and using friends.  In fact, I think the concept of "friend" has been redefined in a horrible way.

Maybe social media is part of it.  Facebook friends are so easily disposed of or "hidden."  Perhaps it has seeped into how people view real-life friends.  They don't have to completely "unfriend" them; they can just "hide" them in view and still have access to them, still "unhide" them whenever they need to without having to give an awkward explanation, maybe without the person ever knowing they were put on hold to begin with.

These trends don't bode well for our society.  [/quote]

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