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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't really get these comments. When other loved ones engage in self-destructive behaviors, we aren't expected to stay quiet.  What if her brother was an addict, or an alcoholic, or drove recklessly, or drove in a car without a seatbelt?  Would she still have to keep her mouth shut?  Of course not - so why is this different?  [/quote]

Because merely stating the OBVIOUS isn't helpful and can actually be counterproductive.  Also, you can't assume that the person is not aware of the problem and/or trying to do something about it.

Unless you are offering to pay for some sort of weight loss program, fitness counseling, fat camp - you probably are being more intrusive than anything else.[/quote]

But how is that different?  Is there a person on the planet who doesn't know that driving drunk isn't self-destructive behavior?  Or drug use?  Are you also suggesting that in those situations, offering concern for the individual would be "counterproductive" and "intrusive?"[/quote]

Drunk driving is dangerous, ILLEGAL behavior that could result in a tragedy for other blameless people...there's a substantial difference.  Life would be Hell for ALL of us if concerned relatives/friends continually "intervened" every time they thought we were making bad choices for ourselves.

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