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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We have no way of knowing what kind of person your brother is. I would allow this of my brother without giving it a second thought. But I also know that if he wasn't going to be home in time for dinner, he'd let us know that morning. I know he would clean up after himself, and consider himself a third parental figure to the kids and thus, change a diaper when he sees the need, take a kid or two with him when he goes to walk the dog, clean up toys after playing with them, etc. I know that at the end of his stay he would strip his bed, remake it, and put his sheets and towels in the wash and ask if he should start it. I know he would either make dinner or take us out to dinner once a week. I know he would be quiet once the kids went to bed, and would NEVER come home drunk or bring strange people into our house. I know if he broke something he'd apologize and fix or replace it.

If that's the kind of brother you have, then go for it. [/quote]

+1.

over the years we've had multiple family or friends stay with us for 1-4wks including regular 1wk/mo visits from my parents.  These are the best guests, and luckily we've only had one guest that I wouldn't want back for an extended visit.  If you feel as if you must agree on "quiet time" before your BIL arrives, perhaps this is the kind of houseguest that wouldn't be welcome on a regular basis.

IMO, part of what PP is alluding to is that if someone is there that often they become more family than guest in terms of the level of engagement.  I don't wait on my mother as if she were a houseguest that we only saw once or twice a year.  Instead, she's a third adult in the household and contributes accordingly - if the trash is full, she grabs it and takes it out.  If I cook dinner, my husband might clear and she'll do dishes.  Those aren't things that I'd expect normal visitors to do.

Again, it's not the sort of thing I'd lay out ahead of time as an expectation, though.[/quote]

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