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[quote=Anonymous]Lesbian mom here (not the previous poster!)

We used frozen sperm and did 9 cycles in 19 months (we had to take off a few months here and there for financial reasons, job changes, appt scheduling, etc.) We tried all of the methods: IUI with no meds, IUI with Clomid and trigger, and IUI with injectibles. There was no medical reason it took so long. I also did acupuncture.

We chose our donors (and I say multiple, because we had 4 donors in our 9 cycles) based on appearance and medical history. We wanted a donor that had the same eye and hair color as my partner and wanted a relatively clean medical history. We switched donors after every few tries - and the time we did get pregnant was the first time using this donor (his count was MUCH higher than any of the other donors.)

We used a donor with Fairfax Cryobank (before they had ID release) because we found a donor that matched the physical appearance that we were looking for and we were able to save a lot of $$ on shipping.  When we were doing this about 3-4 years ago, ID release wasn't a big thing.  We figured it was like a closed adoption. You don't always get to find out who your biological parents are. Perhaps our kids will resent that we made that decision for them - who knows.  Friends have asked why we didn't get an ID release donor and questioned it. Oh well.

The one thing that I do think is hard (for me) is knowing that my kids (twins) have a LOT of siblings. According to the Donor Sibling Registry, there are over 40 kids born with this donor. That is staggering to me. We haven't reached out, because right now I feel that our family involves the 4 of us and I am not eager to add others to that mix and it still feels odd to me (even though I knew about this before we did it.) Perhaps if the kids ever ask, we'll join and hook up with them.

Re: Oprah.  I (and many others that I've talked to who used donor sperm) thought that the show was VERY one sided. They only talked to persons who had a strong desire to know their donor. There are young adults out there that do feel complete without knowing their donor (our nanny for one.) And really what 20 year old isn't searching for their identity and struggling to figure out who they are?[/quote]

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