Reply to Another beach nightmare

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Another beach nightmare"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I really want to go on the "family" beach trip.  Often, the ILs and/or nieces/nephews bow out last minute, under the guise of "commitments".  I imagine they can't stand the thought, much like me.  But our vacation time is quite limited this summer, and I really would like some beach time.  I fear I will regret it immediately and be stranded.  I am not really a drinker, otherwise I would resort to drinking.  [b]DH becomes a different person around his family, they revert to their old nightmare familial roles; and as it turns out, they have a LOT of resentment for DH.  It gets passive aggressive and ugly. In other words, they are sneaky and stealth about their ways, but any third party would know there is an intangible problem[/b]; yet not know what to say to 20 people who are feigning ignorance and seemingly perfectly happy with the crap that goes on.  It is difficult to explain, I suppose.

Besides drinking, is there any way to ensure that DH does not triangulate and act like the rotten person they bring out in him?  Or should I stay home and stay away from the toxicity?  He sets up some pretty awkward situations, thinking I won't speak up in front of them (for fear of being the bad guy, plus women in his family do not speak up), and I am afraid he is right.  I know I am not alone, I just need some suggestions.     :shock: [/quote]
OP I understand what you are saying. The family dynamic does not easily translate into 1,2,3, because there are many layers and previous resentments built up. If your time is limited, perhaps you should pass on this vacation. I used to do all this "for the family" but when we started backing out, they shaped up. You cannot undo the many years of hidden conflict. BTDT.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics