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[quote=Anonymous]Hi. Our family has been going through a lot of strife in the past couple years due to various issues, health--dad's poor conduct etc. Consequently my husband and I have distanced ourselves from all the drama by keeping a lot of family in the dark other than parents/sibling etc.. In the past month a family member (dad's sister) has reached out and said she misses our family and would like to get to know our kids better (she has never met them and I have an eight year old and four year old). I believe this comes from a very good place. She asked if she could visit our summer home (we have a summer home in a resort community). I said yes in the moment without thinking. Namely our home is small so it would be close quarters and all the more so because we have little kids and they are noisy at times. This aunt wouldn't mind..but I would feel stressed trying to keep it all nice. Also my husband was not a fan of this..although he agreed after the fact I am feeling bad as he has little vacation and this would be during his vacation ie he is a good guy and would suck it up maybe against what is good for him.  I could buy them a hotel room (they have limited means so we would have to pay for everything) but I feel this is unfair to my husband..again he said fine but I feel bad. On top of all of this is the stress of having to discuss my dad..it's not a good thing to discuss and selfishly..I just don't want to go there now and don't want to do this during my husband's vacation time with our kids. Again..my aunt is not a bad person so I don't think she is looking for trouble but it is only natural to discuss what happened to my dad that he is really out of the picture with everyone.

What would I like? I would like to get back to her and tell her that thinking this through..this summer isn't a great time. We have a lot of family issues we are working through (we are trying to reconnect with my dad (with some success) who abandoned the family years ago, also help my mom who is very very ill) and while we would love love love to see them..we just feel this summer doesn't work. My fear is that I would anger this aunt and lose the opportunity to reconnect. This is truly nothing personal but more of wanting to take of my immediate family first. I would welcome feedback--this is a sensitive topic but I really want to do this right thing. I think part of my angst is that I tend to take on too much and then feel overwhelmed and maybe for the first time I am thinking..man this is not good and I have to do something because my husband comes first..but I still feel guilty. Maybe I should feel guilty. Thank you.[/quote]

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