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[quote=Anonymous]OP, you said MIL has a "history of overreacting/misinterpreting." That could be key here. Do you think it's possible she is doing just that in this case? Does her history, in your and your husband's experience, tend toward accusations that are sexual in nature, or focused on inappropriate activity by others, or focused on kids being "bad" so that maybe she can blame the parents? I would think through all that and consider whether her history means she cries wolf and shouldn't be believed.

But folks who cry wolf can, at times, be right just once. I hope she's not right this time, because though boys his age do of course masturbate, any kid who is 10 -- but totally lacks the mental "brakes" to know it's gross and wrong to do it sitting just inches from an adult -- either has been abused or has mental or emotional issues that require help now, not later. A kid that age should already have enough sense to feel totally weird at the thought of doing it next to grandma. If nephew lacks that sense, something's off.

Did you or husband ask MIL, "Why didn't you SAY something to Nephew? He was right next to you and you could have said loudly, 'If you need the toilet, go now!'" I'm not sure why she didn't at least hiss something at him along those lines. That would kill any jollies he was feeling, for certain. Can MIL explain why she didn't say anything or at least get up and leave if he was going "to completion"?[/quote]

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