Reply to my friend and her daughter always puts down my daugher

Forum Index » Elementary School-Aged Kids

Reply to "my friend and her daughter always puts down my daugher"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I'm a little confused about why you think the age thing is insulting to your daughter.  Is there some underlying meaning that you perceive?  Based on your last line about size, are the comments about age supposed to be a way of suggesting that your daughter is too big/fat?  Is that that what you're worried about or is it something else?  (By the way, the 7 year old's comment about the elementary school, while not particularly nice, seems like a normal comment for that age.  7 year olds seems to spend a lot of time taking notice and commenting on differences, with an emphasis on mine/yours.  Not the most attractive behavior but pretty common.)

What is your friendship like otherwise with this mother?  Has she been competitive in other ways?  Have you been friends for a long time?  I'm trying to figure out if you're perceiving insult because that's this woman's pattern of behavior or if perhaps you're reading insult into comments that are innocent.

It's hard to get a handle on because the comments don't seem particularly bad, but I can see how their negativity might not be conveyed well just with a written description and that context/tone/body language make them quite a bit worse.  [/quote]

I do not mean that my daughter is big/fat. I mean that this woman knows my age and yet says that i am older than her etc.
I am 1 year older than her.
I have know her since my daughter was a 5 month old baby. But getting to know her better after she moved right next to my home.
These are not the friends I made myself. She is my DH's friend's wife.
I did not choose to move next to her house. she chose to move next to me.
she is always trying to find out which after school activites my daughter is enrolled in. immediately she tries to research and sends her daughter there.
I am sorry if my writing style is confusing. my first language is not english.[/quote]

OP, your writing style is fine.  I'm just not sure why it's an insult to think someone (especially among children) is older.  Usually, 7 year olds idolize 13 year olds, who seem almost like grown-ups to them!  I guess it doesn't really matter, since if you both think it's an insult, then effectively, it is one.

I agree with other posters than this woman seems competitive and is not treating you like a friend.  Although it may be difficult because she lives next door, do your best to distance yourself from her and her daughter.  Just reinforce positive thoughts to your daughter.  You could also try to turn the age thing on her.  For example, when friend or her daughter says something about your daughter being 13, you could say, "Well, DD is so smart and graceful, I can see why you forget that she's only 11!  One day you'll be 11 and then you'll know so much more and be able to so many more things, too!"[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics