Reply to Niece's eating habits - should I mind my own business?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Talk to your brother! I'd tell my sister in a minute that her kid is eating junk, and she would do the same.
Believe me, the kid doesn't want to be fat,not now, not later in life.As grownups we struggle with weight, so does she.She needs help!
I'm not convinced that she won't tell you all that how did you let it get so far.Her eating habits came from her parents, they buy the food.
Easy to say MYOB, who can you talk to if not to your brother?![/quote]

I want to fully agree with PP, as the advice is great, but I think the answer is:  It depends.  Do you and your brother have a good, non-tense, unstrained relationship?  If so, I'd say:

Talk to your brother.  The key is going to be not just what you say, but HOW you say it.

You:  Bro, I want to talk to you about something, and please know that you have every right to tell to mind my own business if you want, and I will not be offended.
Bro:  Ok, what is it.
You:  Well, I'm concerned about niece "Susie."  I love her so much and I want her to be not just happy, but healthy too.  When you all visited last week, I noticed she has some pretty bad eating habits.

At this point, Bro will either tell you to MYOB, or he'll be open to listening.   If he tells you to MYOB, tell him you'll never bring it up again and you're sorry for overstepping your bounds.  If he's open, make sure the entire focus stays on her health and well being.  Tell him what you noticed and explain that the only reason you noticed it was not because you were keeping tabs, but because what you saw was so excessive.

Then offer to do anything you can to help.  Maybe the next time she visits or when you visit him, maybe offer to make a healthy meal with your niece, and even go to the grocery store to buy the ingredients together.  And hell, even make a healthy dessert together since she's into that.

I'd tell my sister in a heartbeat if her kids were eating crap.  She'd tell me too.  And I'd want her to.  But I'd also appreciate it if she delivered the news with kindness, love and respect.

Best of luck to you.[/quote]

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