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Reply to "Issuing parents an ultimatum"
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[quote=Anonymous]I understand wanting to set an ultimatum. But I think you have to be clear what it is. What are the terms? IE< if unle moves back in, you are DONE. What if they spend time with uncle? What if he visits? Etc. On the done side, what is done? As a PP said, it's about boundaries. Are you saying no contact, whatsoever, zero, zip, nada? Or are there some boundaries you can set? You won't visit them, but they can visit you at specific times and instances? no discussions of uncle? no whining about uncle by them when they've invited him back? Etc. I'd just be crystal clear about both sides. And I would talk to them. But, as some PPs have hinted, it's not about their behavior, really, right? It's about your exposure to uncle. So it's not if you see uncle I won't see you. It's "I can't be a party to uncle ruining you, nor can I be around him because of what he's done to me. So if you choose to be around him, I choose not to be around you." [/quote]
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