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[quote=Anonymous]I posted a different issue with this situation before, and this is more of a vent.  My mom invited my brother, SIL, and nephew to stay with us for the Fourth of July.  They came for 5 days, but I didn't take off work.  I don't get holidays off.  While we'll chat, we're not super close, so we wouldn't travel to just visit each other.  While we were trying to take care of our infant the entire weekend and a good chunk of the rest of the time they were here, DH and I were left to care for my 6yo nephew. In other life situations, it wouldn't be an issue.  It is an issue this weekend, because we were never asked (we would have said no) and we have a very high need infant that we're barely keeping our head above water with.  At various times, the one to three adults responsible for my nephew would be shopping, hanging out downstairs, sleeping downstairs, grilling outside, drinking downstairs, watching TV downstairs, or "touristing" at the monuments.  This while my nephew was left to play upstairs in our living room.  For example, while SIL and mom were at the monuments yesterday, my nephew was in the care of my brother, who didn't get out of bed until almost 4pm.  So, the food making, the clothing help, the questions, the discipline, quelling the boredom, etc fell onto us.  They kept talking about how this was their "vacation" but we didn't understand that this meant they didn't want to have to parent the whole weekend.

My nephew doesn't understand boundaries at 6 years old.  We don't know if he should at this point.  He's very rough with her.  We have to ask him over and over to get out of the baby's face, stop doing X to the baby, stop doing Y to the baby.  Just leave the baby alone.  Sometimes, the interactions are gentile enough and she enjoys them.  DH had to go pick up my stranded mom and SIL yesterday who didn't factor a metro trip return into their plans.  He left while I was putting the baby down for a nap (i.e. before I could tell him that they were shit out of luck).  My brother was still sleeping at 2pm, so there was a point where I was left alone with the baby and my nephew for 30-45 minutes.  I couldn't leave the room to do anything (go to the bathroom, put the dishes away, etc.) without coming back into view to find him in her face.  I came out of the bathroom to find him jettisoning her in her walker away from him with his feet.  Apparently, DH said he caught him doing this earlier and said to stop it.  He does interact with his cousin at home, who my SIL babysits.  A few weeks younger than my DD.  According to his parents, this is how he acts around that baby, too.

Insert chuckles here from folks with 2 kids -- I am not cut out for it, not happening.  That aside, he's not integrated into our routine.  We have very little to entertain him with and we were not expecting to have to babysit an entire weekend.  The baby is screaming her head off, and he comes up to me wanting me to fix his game now, or help him with his belt now, or get him some chocolate milk now.

When confronted about leaving us with my nephew all weekend, my mom said that she just wanted one-on-one time with my brother and SIL.  WTF?!  You all just walked off and left him with us.  You didn't ask us if it was cool.  You told me that there was someone here to look after him, but no parent showed up to take care of him.

My mom invited my nephew to stay for the summer, which I now know I should have put a stop to.  I would have created a lot of problems in my family if I would have told them that he had to go home with his parents.  My mom is a grown woman, so she's free to make her choices, but I realize now that we're probably going to have many more issues to deal with as a result.[/quote]

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