Reply to Would this upset you?

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Would this upset you?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]I had a similar situation except it is with my mother and her DH.  They married in their mid 50s/early 60s and are snowbirds half the year.  I was already living out of state (I'm from the Midwest) when they started dating (but I'd known him for 20 years before that).  He's a nice enough guy, has 6 six kids, the youngest is about my age.  My mom is the kind of person that totally devotes herself to the man she's with.  Actually, she does everything for others before she even thinks of her kids.  Always has (I know I'm starting to stray so let me get back on topic).  My mom's DH is a fairly wealthy guy and while my mom has resources, they are nowhere near his.  My mom never asks him for anything so while he and his kids do all kinds of things together and plan all sorts of trips he pays for, we do nothing.  Until we had kids, unless we made the trip to visit them (either in Florida or my home state), we never saw her.  When I started having kids (her only biological grandkids), she would come twice a year, on the way to Florida and on the way back for a couple of days.  Yet, my mom was vacationing with his kids and grandkids in the Bahamas, Disneyworld, Canada, cruises, etc.  Again, it's not as if my mom couldn't afford to fly out.  She was doing all this other stuff with her DH's family and she was paying her own way.  I know this because she was very open about their finances, my father left her a sizeable retirement and she has extensive real estate/stock holdings.  I got so pissed and hurt by it that I brought it up with her.  I flat out asked her why she did so much with her DH's family and not ours.  She went into what we call 'ostrich' mode.  She basically sticks her head in the sand and pretends nothing is going on.  "Is that what you think? I'm sorry you feel that way.  Don't those peaches look delicious?"

My brother, sister and I bitched about it to each other but there was no point in bringing it up with her again. We know how she is.  It has nothing to do with her DH (they've been married now for 20+ years).  I have no idea what she's telling him.  It's always about doing for others.  I know people think my mother is this amazingly wonderful woman and they can't understand why she has such ungrateful children.  Look at  how wonderful she is to her step-kids and step-grandkids and everyone.   I know my situation is a little different than yours OP because it's your StMIL that says it's "too expensive".  My advice would be for your DH to mention it to his father.  It IS hurtful.  But, be prepared for your FIL to be obfuscated like my mother does.  I gave up a long time ago trying to figure out why she's this way.  It's hard to not feel unimportant.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics