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[quote=Anonymous]I am sorry for your situation but I don't think you should say anything.  People either want to help themselves, or they don't. She has had many years to avail herself of professional treatment and has not.  I would bet that she probably knows why she isn't left alone with your child. If that isn't motivation for her then you saying something surely won't accomplish much but making an awkward memory.  It is also far too easy to turn down offers of extended childcare by saying something like "Oh, thank you so much but we would miss her!"

My MIL is functional but struggles with depression.  She is a sweet person.  She also lives far away.  I would probably trust her with my children but the need has never arisen.  She has many annoying qualities that are borne of her depression that would make me crazy if she were watching my children.  She knows what they are; I don't need to tell her and neither does my husband.  We make the best of it when we are together for family visits and try to be supportive and kind.  I think that is the nicest thing you can do in a situation like this; it isn't as though she lives in the same town and is a danger to your child.

I know it is sad to watch because she could probably be so much more than she is but, respectfully, you cannot fix her and neither can your daughter.  [/quote]

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