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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Your husband and sister both sound like jerks. And you sound like a bit of a doormat.

Tell your husband: "Your family is always welcome. But it's important to me to be a good hostess and I need advance notice to be able to do that. Scheduling your family without letting me know is disrespectful."

Tell your sister: "I'm disappointed that we won't be vacationing together because I was really looking forward to spending time with you/your family. The way you went about rescheduling the vacation made me feel like you don't value our relationship."[/quote]

Ive done this.  And i'm no doormat that's the point.  How do I deal with this.[b]despite making it perfectly.clear to them [/b]that what they are doing I'd both disrespectful and hurtful.  I've said these exact things but [b]it doesn't change.[/b][/quote]OP, you've told them what you think.  Sounds like they are not going to change.  So you need to figure out how to set limits that work for you.  If your sister wants to vacation with you again, only agree to a time and a place that you would go to anyway, with or without her family.  That way, if they don't show up, you will have a good time.  With regard to your husband, that's harder. Do you feel like  you can tell your husband that his family may not visit unless he checks with you on the date first? I know - you've already told him that but if he goes ahead and schedules something, are you able to say - "No! They may not come!"?  Not sure I could do that but if I were a stronger person that's what I would try to do.

But the reality is that these people are not going to change so you're going to have to figure out how you can structure things so they work for you.  Give up on getting them to acknowledge their wrongs.  Good luck![/quote]

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